Nzingha’s Wisdom

Living Peacefully by Letting Go

March 1, 2026

Open Reflection

We all have to let go at some point in life- whether it’s the past, unrealistic expectations, relationships, fears, or regrets.

Holding onto these things gradually diminishes how we live – impacting our decisions, thoughts, actions, and how we interpret others – ultimately affecting our overall well-being and life satisfaction.

Should we continue living like this? Should we allow these burdens to possess us? 

Defining “Let Go”

To clarify, “let go” refers to the act of relinquishing or releasing something. Write down a list of what is inhibiting you from living your life peacefully that you are holding on to so dearly. This can be your past, a job you didn’t get, hate from someone who hurt you, a toxic or an old relationship, etc.

 Ask yourself, “ In what ways has this been impacting my life?” “Why am I still holding onto it?”

One question I ask myself daily when making decisions is: “Would I love myself if I …” For example, “ Would I love myself if I ate a bag of Takis knowing it’s unhealthy?” or “Would I love myself if I allow someone’s negativity to affect me?”

The Impact of Holding On

We only have one life to live, and it shouldn’t be weighed down by negativity that no longer serves us. What good does holding onto it do for you?

Not letting go isn’t just an emotional burden-it affects our overall health. It can lead to depression, anxiety, heart attacks, stress, overthinking, etc. Our body mirrors our thoughts and decisions. You have a choice to cultivate positivity or negativity. 

It may not seem like it’s easy to move on from these negative feelings, but it’s possible; it all starts with you. 

If you’re struggling to prevent others’ judgments, opinions, or negativity from affecting you, remember that not everything is about you. People often project their issues onto others. Don’t let their behavior diminish your sense of self or happiness. It’s challenging, but you have the strength to rise above it and continue your day with peace of mind.  

Common Struggles

If you are having a hard time letting go of a relationship or friendship, just know that what is meant to be, will be. People come and go in our lives, often leaving behind valuable lessons, especially when learning more about yourself. Everyone serves a purpose in your life, even if it’s temporary. 

If you didn’t get what you wanted, whether it’s a job, a house, or even the last cookie in the jar – something better is waiting for you. Perhaps that’s why you didn’t get the job. It’s not about resenting the person who got it, nor does it mean you weren’t good enough or didn’t deserve it. Again, things often happen for a reason, and it might be hard to accept it. You have to trust the process and be patient; you’ll understand why things unfolded the way they did. 

If you are holding onto the past, ask yourself: why? What purpose does it serve? You do learn from it to become a better version of yourself, but clinging to the past often leads to unrealistic thinking, hindering personal growth, and making it harder to fully live in the present. Not only does this affect you, but also those around you. Reflect: Are you truly enjoying the life you’re living now and the way you perceive it? 

Trust God

Another practice is praying. God is here with us every step of the way, no matter what we’re going through. God is always there by our side. I love to pray to God about all I go through because He knows best, He guides and protects me through it all. As it says in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Trust Him with your worries and fears–God has you covered.

Action Steps

Don’t allow yourself to be surrounded by negative feelings or thoughts in your everyday life—it’s time to break free.

1. Start by writing in a journal a list of things you are holding onto. Ask yourself, “Why?” If you need to cry, get mad, or express any emotion, let it out. Feeling your emotions helps you understand them. Reflect on each item on your list.
2. Talk to a trusted family member, friend, or therapist. Sharing your thoughts is an essential part of healing—even things you haven’t spoken about before.
3.  Practice reflecting on your day: write down the pros and cons of your thoughts, decisions, and behavior. Then consider how you can improve the next day, taking small, manageable steps.

Final Thoughts

No matter what challenges you face in life, it’s possible to overcome them. Remember, it all starts with you.

Blessings,

Nzingha’s Wisdom